


Time's never enough /You are never enough

by SmokeyFay



Series: Seirin Week 2015 [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Death, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, it's not exactly time traveling though, mentions of Kise/Kuroko - Freeform, there is a lot of angst in this, there is oocness to the characters to fit my idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeyFay/pseuds/SmokeyFay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Izuki runs and Takao is stucked to a cruel fate. Time is precious for someone who doesn't have plenty of it and limited for someone who has."</p><p>written for Seirin Week Day4: Relationships</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time's never enough /You are never enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbetaed and written again at 6am in the morning while sleep typing.  
> I'm sorry for all the errors i will edit it once i take a good sleep. 
> 
> There is a lot of angst but don't worry the ending is happy...
> 
> it was inspired by this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUDwrN3c6yY=)
> 
> crossposted on [tumblr](http://this-tastes-like-purple.tumblr.com/post/124308146622/times-never-enough-you-are-never-enough-seirin=)

They met at a café a summer afternoon.  
“Can I sit please?” Izuki lifted his head from his book to find a boy around his age, black hair and blue-silver eyes looking at him expectantly and smiling sheepishly.

Izuki nodded and the young man sit down. “I’m sorry but the café is packed and I have nowhere to go until later that my classes start” Izuki only nodded again not even looking away from his book. It wasn’t five minutes later that the boy spoke again. “I’m Takao Kazunari” Izuki nodded again, “What’s your name?” Takao continued. Izuki put down his book looking at the boy irritated “Izuki Shun” he said, “Now please I have an important test and every minute I can take to study is precious.” Takao nodded and agreed to not bother Izuki again, Izuki sighed relieved.

Half an hour later Takao talked again, “What are you studying for?” he asked trying to pick at the book. “Maths” Izuki answered sharply, “God! I hate maths.” Izuki didn’t bother continuing the conversation Takao clearly wanted to have. Little did he know that Takao just couldn’t keep his mouth shut for more than ten minutes, and boy was he loud! But he learned this the bad way.

Takao somehow managed to make Izuki exchange phone numbers, Izuki did contemplate giving him a fake one, and had him agreeing to a date as he called it.

Izuki thought about it hard when he was home at night. “A date huh?” he said to himself, It was so long since he last had a date. His last date was when after 3 years of giving this partner his whole self, she told him on their anniversary date that she had found someone else. It broke Izuki beyond words.

Weekend rolled with their date day and Izuki thought more than once to not come up. “It’s not like I know him anyway” he had said to himself as he put on his jeans. He was dressed simple and he couldn’t care less if he wanted to be honest with himself. Seeing later how Takao was dressed, it was probably the right choice.

They went to a movie Takao said was good, his exact words being “You have to watch this Shun-chan! It’s the best movie ever”, in which Izuki doubted. During the movie Takao hadn’t shut up for a minute, and izuki wondered if he had even paid a little attention to the movie.

“Why are you so grumpy Shun-chan?” Takao asked over his burger. They had gone in a fast food restaurant to grab something to eat after the movie was over . “I’m not grumpy!” Izuki said looking offended. He isn’t or at least he used not to be. He indeed once was cheerful and talkative, much like Takao but those days were behind him now. If you are selfish you can’t get hurt right?

Somehow week after week, they became almost inseparable. Takao managed to unravel Izuki piece by piece and see every hidden spec of his personality. The first time Takao saw Izuki laughing was one evening Takao had invite Izuki over only to be buried in his books studying franticly because “I forgot I have a test tomorrow”. Takao was absorbed by his books trying to finish as fast as possible to spend the rest of the time with Izuki when the latter suddenly left something like a chuckle. Takao lifted his head looking at the other curiously, “I’m sorry I can’t help it, your expression is so funny when you try to concentrate.” Izuki said, hand in front of his mouth to try and cover his laugh. Takao should be offended but he was mesmerized by that beautiful sound that he said nothing but smiling at the other.

Takao was head over hills for Izuki and he did no effort of hiding it. Actually he declared it bluntly over dinner one day. “I like you Shun-chan” Takao said and Izuki almost had his noodles stuck in his throat, resulting to him coughing for about five minutes. Izuki didn’t say a word.

Takao had an old Polaroid camera and he liked to take photos of almost everything and especially Izuki, something Izuki wasn’t pleased of, but he did put them in his wall by the end of the day. Izuki was really affectionate with Takao, the most he had been in years. The boy had managed to wake parts of Izuki he thought long dead.

It was a hard work discovering Izuki, make him open up, but Takao loved every part of it. There was this one day that Takao had wanted to hang out but Izuki wasn’t in the mood, of course Takao being Takao he was noisy and thought nothing of it so he showed up to Izuki’s house but found no one, something that not put him down of course as he waited for the other boy to return.

“What are you doing here?” Izuki was angry upon seing Takao, “Didn’t I tell you not to come?” It was the first time Takao had seen him like this, he felt bad and lowered his head something uncommon for Takao but it seemed there was something seriously bad going with Izuki, and now he did feel like intruding. Was then that Takao learned about Izuki’s mother being dead. It was tragic, she died to protect Izuki from being hit by a car and Izuki blamed himself since then, although that was years ago and apparently today was the anniversary. It seemed so right to Takao now that Izuki wanted to be alone.

Izuki leaned in Takao’s shoulder whispering a soft “Thank you Takao”, and Takao felt like his t-shirt turned dry little by little but he said nothing, he just caressed the other boy’s hair as an action of showing he was there, he would be here for Izuki whenever. Ironically that night Takao snapped the best photo of Izuki, his sleeping face looked so peaceful and beautiful. He never showed the latter though, this was something he kept to himself.

Since that day Takao never referred to Izuki as grumpy not even once. He had all the rights in the world to be as grumpy and closed person as he liked. Takao would be here to show him the bright side of life whenever Izuki needed it, he made this his mission.

Izuki never once bothered to ask Takao about his life, his whereabouts. The days he spent with the boy were wonderful indeed and Izuki felt more alive than ever, but still, he left like the less he knew and connected with the boy the best it was, for even Takao would go one day. Izuki might as well save himself from heartbreakness. Takao was too good to be true.

He rejected Takao like a million times when he asked him out but he had to give it to the kid, he was persistent. Takao asked him almost every week out only to be turned down, “Not Takao I won’t form a relationship with you” Izuki said countless times. _It’s not like it’s needed at that point_.

Takao kissed him one evening, it was chased but it was there. They parted ways after a walk at night, Takao had walked Izuki to him house and there Takao leaned in, touched Izuki’s lips with his and then run away leaving a confused Izuki behind.

He didn’t show up the next day. Izuki didn’t question it, he was kinda glad.

The next time they kissed Izuki had initiate it. Takao’s lips that looked so soft and pink that Izuki just couldn’t shake the thought of how kissing him would feel. And so he did he leaned in and pressed his lips in Takao’s and the latter gladly kissed back, it felt so right kissing him like he was meant for it, that it almost scared Izuki.

What Izuki felt with Takao was happiness, pure happiness, and he knew he should be afraid but he wasn’t, he wanted more of it. Izuki was still closed with his feelings unlike Takao but he laughed more, joked around and something that made Takao delightful was that Izuki initiated taking photos with Takao. Almost Izuki’s whole house was decorated with Polaroids of them, smiling faces looking at the camera, or little moments they spent together, like studying for a test or the likes, that maybe to other people seemed too small but for them were too precious.

Takao still asked out Izuki, and the latter still turned him down because seriously by now it wasn’t even needed it was just that Takao wanted to hear a yes but Izuki wouldn’t comply to his childish request.

Izuki can swear he heard Takao saying he loves him more times that his own mother had said to him. It was so easy for Takao to express his feelings that sometimes it made Izuki uncomfortable. Yes he was a much more pleasant person than before but he still wasn’t so open with what he felt, so he never once said those three words to Izuki, but it’s not like he felt like this too, he had said to himself.

Izuki didn’t know what make him believe that he could afford a such happiness in his life, he didn’t know what possessed him to open up to Takao, to let himself be, but right now he regretted every moment of it. He wished he had never open up to Takao, never let himself feel affection for the other boy, wished he had never agree for Takao to sit with him in the first place because fate was cruel, he should have known by now. Once you grasped happiness, fate was right at the corner to make you regret it. It hurt like hell, losing someone who care about. But it hurt more when that someone was dying in your own hands.

“Shun chan. I- I know you never said it but…” Takao coughed “please let me be selfish an-and ask you to say it” Izuki was lost, he was out of words, people had gathered around them but no one could do anything. “Don’t speak Takao. The ambulance will be here any moment just…. Hold on” but Takao couldn’t hold on , he was badly wounded. Takao closed his eyes and Izuki just couldn’t believe in his eyes. He screamed Takao’s name but that didn’t bring the boy back of course.

Izuki cursed himself for being this selfish, for not being able to comply to Takao’s last request. If he could turn back time he would say a million yes to Takao, he would declare his love in every way possible, words and actions. But there was nothing he could do right now. Takao was gone and that was something that couldn’t be change.

That incident happened months ago but Izuki still remembers it like it was yesterday. He didn’t even make an effort to _“go on”_ with his life. What was the point anyway.

Izuki visits Takao’s grave every week on Wednesday strictly, and talks to Takao about everything that happened to his life during that time. He visits the grave after he goes to the same café they met. It’s something like memorial ceremony for him.

Izuki’s bedroom is painful to be in so he now sleeps in the living room. He hasn’t have the heart to take down all of the polaroids decorating his wall but it hurts to see Takao’s smile. He wishes he could have stopped the time in every moment Takao smiled.

Izuki wakes up with a terrible headache. He takes some painkillers and turns on the tv. He checks himself for fever because he is too hot in the middle of winter but he guesses it’s the heater, he must have forget it on all night. It isn’t until later that he looks at his phone to check the hour that he realizes something is not right.

 _20 th July? _ He thinks, _Did this broke?_ And he checks the new to see that is indeed 20 th of July the year before. He had somehow managed to go back in time, how he didn’t know and at that point he didn’t care. July 20 meant that Takao was still alive and well, all there is to do is for Izuki to call Takao and have him come over so he sends a message.

 **** _From: Izuki_  
To: Takao  
_Hey! Takao would you like to come over?_  
  
And he just waits. He takes no answer back until later that evening his doorbell rings. At the door stands Takao of course with take out and dvds and Izuki doesn’t remember the last time he felt this happy.

All these months he just wished he had one more day with Takao, one more day just to show him how much he loves him and now life somehow gives him a new opportunity. An opportunity to start anew with Takao, and he swears he will cherish every moment and protect Takao the best he can.

Izuki takes his chances though, he doesn’t go all out saying to Takao how he feels, because he’s not sure they’ve been in this at that point of time.

It turns out they weren’t when the Izuki kisses Takao the first time, first time for Takao that is, after an amusement park date he takes Takao and the latter blushes like a tomato and says “I-I didn’t expect Shun-chan had these feelings for me”. It takes some time to make Takao fall for him again but Izuki falls more along the way. But he doesn’t regret it. If it is for Takao to be with him again he can do this again and again.

They make new memories, this time being Izuki the one with the Polaroid obsession; he snaps photos of Takao in every moment and wish he could stop the time every time the latter laughs because really that sound is like a lullaby in Izuki’s ears.

Izuki is still hesitant thought to say he loves Takao, but he makes sure to show it to the other with his actions. Actions speak louder than words they say.

That winter day comes around the corner again and Izuki is too absorbed by all the happiness he feels to pay attention. They have a date today and Izuki is really excited, he promised he will take Takao to the aquarium and the look of surprise mixed with happiness the other had when Izuki told him, is what makes him more exited.

He spots Takao at the end of the road and waves at him. But fate is cruel and Izuki forgot about it. It’s green for them and Takao hurries to pass the road and go to Izuki when a car passes by with red and hits him. Izuki feels like losing the ground beneath his feet, the whole scene acts itself out in slow motion and Izuki can do nothing to save Takao.

Takao doesn’t make it, this time Izuki didn’t even manage to run to him. Takao dies instantly by the force he was hit and again he doesn’t listen to those words he yearned for. Izuki realizes that maybe words matter as much as actions, because he again left with so many unspoken things he wanted to say but couldn’t manage the courage. Not that it changed anything if he had said them.

Izuki mourns Takao’s death more than before. He had a chance to make it better but it was the same all over again, like nothing had change.

Months go by and Izuki has a harder time dealing with it than he had back then. He wished he could have one last chance, just one last chance so he can make it right this time.

The opportunity shows itself around half a year later that Izuki wakes up to 25th of July 2015. And he thanks every god out there that gave him another chance.

He runs to the same café in hope he’ll find him and he does. The same night Izuki takes his chances and kisses him, it seems like they weren’t in any kind of romantic relationship until then but it’s okay, Izuki will make Takao fall for him again.

Izuki takes it upon him to make new memories with Takao, better ones. He takes Takao to dates every now and then. He makes sure he makes Takao smile aways, and eventually Takao falls for him again.

They are at the park sitting in the swings when Takao says “I love you Shun-chan” and Izuki wants to hold him forever, he couldn’t believe it was possible to fall deeper for Takao than he already had but he does. Izuki thinks to himself that this is his chance, he has to say it now but the words stuck in his throat. He instead takes Takao by the hand and pulls him in his embrace and kisses him, trying to purr all his love in this kiss.

This time Izuki makes sure to protect Takao. He looks at his wall full of polaroids of them, of Takao and he wanted to keep this fuzzy feeling he has forever, he wants to keep Takao’s smile alive forever.

Is that day again and Izuki knows it so he suggest Takao that they spend the night before and this day together and of course Takao is more than delighted to accept.

Izuki wakes up to an empty bed and feels anxiety and horror overtake him. He runs out of the room almost breathless only to find Takao in the kitchen practically fighting with something that once looked like scrambled eggs and leaves a sigh of relief. He hugs Takao tightly and kisses hin neck, his body finally relaxing. “What is it Shun-chan? You looked terrified?” Izuki just shakes his head leaning in the warm of the other’s giggles. “Nothing just…. Had a bad dream” he says. _That’s right a bad dream that was all, once this day is over it will all be a bad dream_ he says to himself

“Shun-chan why don’t you go take a shower while I make breakfast” Izuki finds this a good idea, Only later he regrets it. He never listened to Takao saying “I go to the convenience store to buy some juice” due to the running water. He walks out of the shower to sirens and noise and looks out of the window to find police and ambulances down the street and then it hits him that Takao isn’t in the house. He runs down the stairs not even waiting for the elevator only wearing shorts to find Takao at the same state he saw him twice already. Izuki just stares, he has no power to approach Takao, not again.

Takao’s funeral comes by and passes and Izuki curses every god out there because they give him a chance only to take it back every time. “I’m not some kind of game” he screams to no one, voice full of anger and poison. Whoever thinks this is funny, it’s totally not funny and he should stop putting him throught this.

After a couple of months Izuki wakes up to 5th August 2015. “If it’s to play like this then let’s play” he says “Let’s see who will win this time”. Right now he is determinate to save Takao by all means, he has had enough already.

He searches Takao’s number in his phone and calls him. “Shun-chan how are you? Long time no see. Is it something you’d want?” _long time no see?_ Izuki thinks but he dismisses it fast in favour to speak with the boy “Yeah, would you like to go out today?” Takao sounds hesitant but in the end he agrees.

They go to the eat burgers and Izuki hears Takao laugh again, and really he believes he can’t feel happier than he is right now.

This time it’s not that easy to make Takao fall for him, it seems like they aren’t this close and Izuki wonders why. He tries to take it slow although there isn’t much time.

He tries his best, inviting Takao over to play video games or study. Takao isn’t that open at first but later he is happier to be around Izuki. “I always thought you were unapproachable” he confessed one time and Izuki wonders why, by now they should be friends enough for Takao not to say these things.

They’re watching a movie in Takao’s room and it’s so hard for Izuki to resist the temptation of leaning in and kissing Takao, but he reminds himself he has to go slow about it. He opts for resting his head on Takao’s shoulder and he is more than happy when Takao lets him be.

Weeks pass by and Takao opens up more to Izuki, by now he is like the Takao he knows. He takes Takao out to the park for a night walk. “It’s so beautiful” Takao exclaims and Izuki is mesmerized by the light in the other’s eyes, that he doesn’t register indeed how beautiful it is around them. Summer is almost over but it’s still home, some pleasantly cool air surrounding them, and the trees are starting to turn to gold and red. He snaps a photo right there with Takao under a big tree looking at the sky. Izuki slips his hand in Takao’s as they walk back home.

They are sitting at a café when Takao says “Shun-chan, I think I like you” and takes Izuki’s hands in his. Izuki is so happy he forgets they are in a public place with he walks to Takao and kisses him.

Two dates last find them in Izuki’s bed, legs tangled, and breaths hitched. The only noises in the room being loud moans and groans. “I love you Shun-cahn” Takao says after and Izuki finally can speak those words too when he answers “I love you too Kazunari” and falls asleep. He never listens the “I’m sorry” that leaves Takao’s lips.

The next day Izuki wakes up alone in the bed, the room smells on sweat and sex and he remembers exactly what happened. He searches for Takao everywhere in the house but there is not a trace of the man ever being here. He realizes all of their current polaroids missing from his wall except from one where Takao had take with him and Izuki smiling Izuki looking lovingly at Takao. He tries to call him but he is unable to reach him as it seems like the number is not being used anymore.

He opts for turning the tv on and waiting as there is nothing else he can do. And there he sees it in the news _“Notorious runaway thief y young man dies in gunfire. The name of his Takao Kazunari. But he went with different names in every town” ,_ a photo of Takao covering half the screen near the woman.Izuki listens to the woman on tv and can’t believe his ears. Izuki almost loses it because “It’s not time yet, why did it happen now, it’s not even October and it shouldn’t have happened until February.” He screams in the empty house full of grief and frustration.

Later he thinks about it and sees that he should have realized something wasn’t right with Takao, “runaway thief” he muttered but he searched his whole house there was not a single thing missing except for the polaroids. He registers then that he was probably the only one Takao had said his real name as _“going by different names in every town”_ replayed in his mind, and Takao truly must love him for not staying because he was being chased but nothing changes the part that Izuki lost Takao again, and this time there was no way to protect him.

He doesn’t attend Takao’s funeral this time, instead he stays home and tries to piece everything together. He spends almost all the day and the night in his room trying to figure out what’s happening. “Going back in time, it worked three times” he says to himself “but the fouth Takao wasn’t the same Takao as I knew”. He draws a timeline in one of his walls of everything that happened until now, the fact that three times Takao dies the same way and one doesn’t, this Takao wasn’t even the Takao he knew form before. By the time morning comes he puts together every piece and he knows exactly what to do to go back and how it works, he doesn’t know details but he will find them out in the way for now it’s enough to know that he doesn’t exactly go back in time he goes to different dimensions as well, that’s why the last Takao was a different one, he isn’t sure how all this goes but he knows one thing in every timeline Takao always dies, and that’s something he has to stop no matter what.

It was easier in his head “I will just cut my veins and I’ll go back” he said but now in front of the mirror actually trying to do it it’s not that easy anymore. Somehow when he tries to kill himself instead of dying he teleports in another dimension, of course he doesn’t remember anything afterwards because no one should know what death feels like, and he is not a hundred present sure it works like this but he’ll take his risks, if it doesn’t work like this he’ll at least save himself another heartbreak.

The next day he wakes up and checks his phone first thing 10th August 2015. He’s back in time again, he checks his wall and sees that indeed his method works. He doesn’t know how and if it should be like this but as long as he can give himself another chance to be with Takao it’s enough for him.

He search his phone only to find that in this dimension he is not acquaintance with Takao. “This will be hard” he mutters to himself but he doesn’t give up, he can’t give up now.

Lady luck smiles at him when he enters the auditorium to fine Takao sitting in the last raw. He walks up to him and asks if he can sit, Takao only nods. He try to sit with him in the cafeteria too later but Takao isn’t this outgoing here. But it’s okay Takao is Takao in every dimension and Izuki will do anything to make Takao love him in this dimension again. He finds out that Takao is extremely shy and introvert here. The normal “hello let’s be friends” way won’t be effective to this one.

He does a little research and offers to help Takao with the classes he isn’t good at. It works Takao accepts not this eager but Izuki figures anyone would like some help in passing their classes.

Takao doesn’t seem too excited with what Izuki try to talk about in their breaks from studying, if not at all, so he does the next best thing and asks him “What do you like to do in your spare time?” Takao thinks about the question hard and he seems a little reluctant to answer but he does eventually “I like video games, and reading comics, I also find new action figures to collect. How about you Izuki-san” Izuki nods the name stings a little, he never heard Takao calling him with his family name, but he chooses to focus on Takao’s answer more, here Takao is a geek, _sounds good I’m enough geek myself_ Izuki thinks and says that he too likes video games and comics.

They start to bond over those. Now they don’t just meet to study but to read their favourite comics and play video games. Also izuki develops a habit of saying numerous puns, Takao seems to like them and laugh with them so it’s okay with Izuki.

One Sunday afternoon Takao asks Izuki “Shun-kun, how come you attend again university?” this takes Izuki by surprise not knowing what to answer, his brain running in miles _what does this means?_ But he opts with answering “Why not” and that seems like a good enough answer to Takao, Izuki is relieved.

A week later someone bumps to him in the hallway resulting to both Izuki and the man throwing all their books and papers down. He bends down to pick them up and the stranger does too “I’m sorry” Izuki apologies head down the man doesn’t say a word. When he has all his books and he’s about to go his way the smaller man grabs him by the arm and looks at him, pale blue eyes staring at his silver ones and Izuki feels chills down his spine. “You aren’t Izuki-kun?” the boy says. Izuki freezes “what do you mean, of course I am” he laughs it all but it’s force, the boy let him go.

Two days later he walks with Takao in towards the cafeteria when the same boy pulls him in the side “Follow me” he says, his voice leaving no place for refusal. “Takao go on without me, I’ll catch up in 2 minutes, something came up” he calls to the boy and Takao nods.

Izuki follows the boy in the toilets. “You dimension travel” he says and Izuki is looking horrified at him, he opens his mouth but he is cut off “I know, because I do too” Izuki shuts up at this and indication for the boy to say whatever he wants too “My name is Kuroko Tetsuya, I- I’m searching for someone calles Kise Ryouta.” the boy stars “Dimensions travel are… dangerous as far as I know, you can travel so much until to find something weird” Izuki looks at him “You found this “weird” thing right?” he says, he puts out the phone and texts Izuki to tell him he’ll see him in class because he is needed by a professor, this seems like it’ll take some time. Kuroko nods “I-I once traveled to a timeline that this Kise-kun person I search for had died centuries ago. I still don’t know how I managed to leave form there” Kuroko looks terrified at the memory “What do you mean?” the boy is reluctant to answer but he does eventually “There is an even that marks out timeline, if you happen to travel somewhere that this event happens before your arrival, you can’t possible go back to another dimension” Izuki has no idea what Kuroko is talking about and looks puzzled at the boy “I mean, I-I don’t know this for sure how it works but… Take care, I don’t know how you can do it but try not to arrive in the next dimension after the even has happened, it will cause problem to your whole timeline and you will probably stuck there as a ghost” Izuki nodded he should research about it later it seemed like this Kuroko guy had seen some bad things happening. “Also about the “you aren’t izuki-san” thing… Just know that when you travel to another dimension the you from this one is being replaced by the current you… But sometimes it doesn’t work, I don’t know why or how but it doesn’t, in this one there are two Izuki Shun” Izuki looks at the boy with wide eyes, two Izuki Shun, how is this possible “Wha-What can I Do?” he asks and he’s afraid of the answer , “Kill him of course, there can’t be two of the same person in the same dimension, one has to go or one of you will stuck here as someone that exists but not really exists, you won’t be able to travel out of here and you’ll have to wait until the other you dies but then… I don’t know what happens to you” Kuroko smiled bitterly “You’ve done that before” it wasn’t a question it was a statement Izuki knows Kuroko had kill himself probably countless times before, Kuroko only nods. Kuroko provids him with information about the Izuki Shun of this world and warns him that for dear life the other Izuki shouldn’t see him. “Takao…” Kuroko says “He’s dying right?” Izuki only nods “I wish you luck in saving him” Kuroko says and this sparkles a hope in Izuki that if someone who has travel more says this, it means Takao can be saved, he just has to find the way. Before leaving Izuki asks Kuroko “This Kise-san boy, is he dying too” and Kuroko smiles bitterly at him “I wish it was the simple” he says as he exists the bathroom.

Izuki makes more notes in his wall about everything Kuroko had told him and wishes he finds happiness with his Kise-san, he looked too tired.

Izuki leads two lifes. He tries to make Takao fall for him which is working pretty nice, slow but nice, he also tries to find himself.

He invites Takao over and makes sure to cover his both walls with big posters so Takao won’t think he’s a creeper. They spend the evening playing video games and Izuki asks him to sleep over. Takao agrees, they stay all night up watching super hero movies and arguing about if Natsu Dragneel or Gray Fullbuster is cooler. When they fall asleep Takao slips his fingers between Izuki’s and Izuki knows this is going better than expected.

He almost forgets about the other Izuki from this dimension until one night he sees him crossing the road and he decides to follow him. It’s now or never he says to himself as he pulls him in an alley and strangles him then and there. Izuki cries all the way back to his house; he is terrified of what he’s done even though the body disappeared in thin air.

He finds Kuroko sitting in a bench at the park near the university on his way back and sits next to him. “I did, I killed him, or me, I don’t know anymore” Kuroko pats him and only tells him “It’ll get better”, they both know he means that Izuki will get used to it once he does it few times. “What-what will happen to the me of this dimension if I don’t manage to save Takao and I travel to another” he asks because honestly he feels so bad, whatever this Izuki was, he was another soul he forcibly took away. Kuroko looks at him as he answers “I don’t really know, there are two possibilities from what I searched. One the Izuki Shun being disappears from the world is like he was never born, and no one knows you or remembers you, you don’t exist anymore. The Second is that somehow the one from this dimension takes back his rightful place but has no idea of the events happened while he wasn’t here” Izuki seems satisfied enough with this answer but he states more than asks for good measures “I believe the second option applies when he is “naturally” replaced by me” Kuroko nods.

Takao falls for Izuki between video games, and all nighters to study for tests. It’s when Izuki wins a round of Mario cart that Takao leaves the controller down and leans to Izuki and kisses him. It’s inexperienced in contrast with the other Takaos he met but it’s still as sweet and Izuki feels like floating.

He takes Takao to Anime Expo for a date and it’s a surpise when they arrive at the venue it’s held. The look of adoration and amazement in Takao’s eyes is what Izuki leaves for.

The weeks pass by and this time is Izuki the one who says it first “I love you” he whispers in Takao’s ear in the middle of a hot make out session. Takao answers almost immediately “Me too”, like he waited for Izuki to say it first so he knows it’s okay to say it.

It hits Izuki harder this time. He has no way of save Takao when he learns that the other boy is sick.”You see, I meant to say it sooner but…” Izuki hugs him and kisses his forhead “It’s okay I’m not mad” he indeed is not mad at all but it’s not the least bit okay, he is losing him and this time is slow and agonized and he can’t do anything to change it.

He makes sure to make every day of Takao’s life memorable. He cosplays with him, takes him to the biggest anime, comic and video game events. He even takes him to the beach, they travel for 5 hours but it all worths it when Takao runs and jumps into the water laughing.

If Izuki is honest with himself this is the Takao he fall for the most. He tried to piece him like a puzzle and thought of a million ways to make him open up and fall for him that it reminds him of how the Takao from his dimension did the exact same things for him.

Takao dies in a hospital room with machines plugged in him and an oxygen mask on. His parents and his doctors tried their best to find a lungs donor but fate is cruel, Izuki knows it well by now, and nothing was compatible with Takao, in the end he died with his last words being “Please don’t forget about me Shun-chan.”

Izuki cried more than before, he cried hard and loud. He was strong for too long and now he could finally break down in the privacy of his room. He had no one to be strong for anymore.

Kuroko called him to give his condolences and told him “I wish we’ll meet again Izuki-kun.” but Izuki answered with “I wish we don’t” and really he wish they don’t meet again because that would mean Kuroko failed to find his Kise-san too.

Izuki takes a deep breath and tries to compose himself. If he has time to mourn over Takao he has time to try and at least save him in one of the timelines. He adds the new polaroids of them on his wall and notes whatever he learn and lives so far down on his other wall. When he is done he writes down the way he’ll travel and goes out in the balcony, with a deep breath he asks forgiveness of the him in this dimension and jumps.

The next day Izuki wakes up with new polaroids on his wall and the date being 1st October 2015. He checks his phone and it seems like in this one Takao and Izuki are a couple if the sms of _“good morning sweetheart”_ is any indication.

He texts back an _“good morning. I love you”_ and gets ready to research whatever he can about this Takao and if there is another Izuki here.

This one seems pretty easy, Izuki doesn’t have to make Takao fall for him and the Izuki from here was “ _naturally”_ replaced by him.

While walking to the university campus he bumps into Kuroko, his eyes were tired and looked dead, and by the tired smile he gives him Izuki understands that Kuroko wasn’t successful either.

Izuki loses Takao in this dimension as well. This time though he tried to save him, when they were attacked by two strangers with a knife asking for their money and cell phones. Takao handed his first and while Izuki searched his pockets for his things he whispered to Takao “Run while I try to buy time. Run now” and Takao did run but little did Izuki know that one of them had a gun too apart from knife and he shot Takao down.

Izuki breaks everything in his house this night. Cursing every unknown power that plays with him and Takao’s life. “What do I need this power if I can’t save him not even once” he screams to the void, desperate and angry with everything.

Izuki traveled to many dimensions, so many he lost count and in every one of it he had to make Takao fall for him again, tried his best to suit Takao’s every taste. He turned from gothic to catholic, picked up things that would interest Takao in him, had piercings and wear tuxedos all for Takao’s sake. For Takao to love him again, Izuki did everything possible. In other’s Takao was some popular idol, in others he was orphan, or poor, he found an extremely rich Takao, he never could imagine Takao this rich. There were also some that Takao didn’t know Izuki at all, and one that Takao hated Izuki with a burning passion and this was the one of the worst situations Izuki found himself in.

Izuki couldn’t approach Takao in 10 meters distance. Izuki researched really thoroughly why Takao hated him this much, only to come in a dead end. It took him almost four months to persuade Takao that he was sorry, whatever that was he was sorry about, and that he wanted to be friends with Takao, in which the latter was not at all convinced. It took another five months for Takao to trust Izuki and start to open up but in the end it was worth it.But in this one happiness lasted too little as Takao was murdered roughly two months after they got together.

Everytime new polaroids covered Izuki’s wall, and new notes were made.

He met a suicidal Takao, a thief and a murderer. He also met a terrorist one and a liar Takao who was playing with him and another two girls at the same time. But Izuki had come too low already to think about trivial things like these. In the end Izuki was the fated one for Takao.

By far the worst though is the Takao he meets in this one. He could handle liar, and murderer and everything but a schizophrenic, this one Izuki didn’t know how to handle him.

Izuki has it easy to make Takao fall for him in this one. But it’s not until a couple of months later than he realizes something’s not right with Takao. Takao comes back from university in Izuki’s house crying. It takes an hour for Izuki to calm him down, but when he does Takao finally talks about what happened, apparently Takao wasn’t in the university today because he was ashamed. It takes Izuki another hour to convince Takao it’s okay to tell what happened.

Takao takes off his shirts and shows some angry red marks on his back that look suspiciously like cuts to Izuki, “What happened?” Izuki asks terrified and Takao bursts to tears again, so he just hugs the other boy and rocks him silently back and forth chanting “It’s okay Kazunari” like a mantra.

Two weeks later Takao says to Izuki over launch “My family, they are abuse me.” Izuki offers Takao to move in his house so no one will abuse him. Takao does.

Takao starts acting weird day by day but Izuki thinks is normal for someone who was abused by their parents for so long. Takao starts to avoid eye contact with Izuki when they talk, and the way he speaks sounds emotionless to Izuki’s ears. Never again “I love you” sounded this hollow.

“I’ll take a break from university” Takao says one day and Izuki nods because it’s okay, he needs time to adjust to his new lifestyle and get over his past. But this doesn’t stop here, Takao seems to lack every interest in doing everyday things like, cleaning himself, or watching movies or eating. He just sits in the same corner on the sofa and looks at the wall, most of the time he doesn’t even register Izuki talking to him.

Izuki suspects that something’s not right and tries to talk to him but every word falls at deaf ears as Izuki is absorbed by Izuki’s fascinated wall.

A week pass when Takao speaks again “It’s not real” he says and Izuki sits next to him asking him “What’s not real?” but Takao looks at him confused and seems to think hard about his answer. “I don’t know why do you ask? Is something not real?” he asks confusion covering his features. “we should go to the amusement park tomorrow” he says and Izuki agrees.

Tomorrow comes but Takao doesn’t seem to remember he said anything about amusement parks when he throws a tantrum about not wanting to leave the house and keep on staring at the wall.

Izuki is desperate enough to show Takao his wall with all the polaroids and he explains every and each one of them to Takao who he looks fascinated and genuinely interested about Izuki’s adventure with himself from the other worlds. Takao since then stares at the polaroids than the empty living room wall.

“They are talking to me” he wakes up Izuki one night, “Who’s talking to you?” Izuki asks him but Takao doesn’t answer, he keeps staring at the polaroids. Izuki wonders if Takao ever sleeps.

“Make them stop please make them stop” Takao cries in the middle of the night three days later and Izuki wakes up horrified and hugs him tried to sooth him. “Please make them stop, I don’t want to hear them anymore” Takao screams “who?” Izuki asks and Takao looks at him with distaste “the polaroids” he says as if it should be obvious. It hit Izuki then. He covers the wall with a big sheet and hugs Takao trying to sooth him to sleep.

Next morning he finds Takao rocking himself back and forth looking at the polaroids on the uncovered wall and talking incoherent things to himself. Izuki decided to research about Takao’s past.

By the noon he finds out that Takao was indeed abused by his parents that lead him to murder them, apparently that was years ago and if the internet was write Takao had all the symptoms for schizophrenia. Izuki runs home as fast as he can be he is already too late when he finds Takao laying in a pool of his own blood.

Leaving the hospital he took Takao’s body, he sees Kuroko sitting at a swing in a park rocking the swing back and forth a little with his feet. He sits to the one next to Kuroko “He died” he says and Kuroko smiles bitterly at him. His eyes are so tired, so so tired, they look dead, and he looks like he’s losing weight. “He was schizophrenic” Kuroko just nods. “You shouldn’t travel anymore” Kuroko tells him “The next one you find, stay there” and Izuki doesn’t understand why Kuroko would say this “But if he dies-“ he starts but he’s cut off by Kuroko’s firm “Just stay there.” Izuki demands explanations though and Kuroko at least owes him this much. “If you travel a lot, it takes a toll to your body” Izuki nods he can see this is true by the state Kuroko is in, “You starts to forget. When I came here I couldn’t remember the reason, I passed by Kise but I couldn’t even remember him” Kuroko’s voice is calm and stoic but the tears in his eyes say otherwise “Before this one, I couldn’t travel, I tried three times to be able to make it here” Izuki is sure he doesn’t want to know what Kuroko means by it. “I don’t know for how long I’ll be able to travel before I lose my mind or my life seeing I’m this weak. So please in the next dimension stay there.” He almost pleads but Izuki can’t lie, and they both know he won’t stay if Takao dies.

He travels three or four more times Izuki has completely lost count by now. He finds Kuroko in none of those, and he’s afraid to ask about him. But he finds and loses Takao in all of them. In every dimension no matter what Takao he meets it always results to Izuki losing him. Takao dies in everyone of them.

In this one Takao is a simple university student, which plays for the basketball team. Izuki is lucky in own of the other dimensions he decided to pick up basketball as a way to attract a really athletic Takao.

It’s easier when Takao runs to him and calls him “Shun-chan, you’re here let’s play”, and Izuki does. He doesn’t question anything, not even a single thing about Takao about how and why the Izuki from this one dimension knows basketball.

In the way Takao kisses him later in their shared apartment, hungrily like he hadn’t seen him in years. The way Takao locks eyes with him and they make love, and the wall full of polaroids from every Takao Izuki found in every different dimension, it clicks to Izuki that this one is his Takao, his real one, the one he is meant to be with.

Izuki looks at the polaroids and wonders when Takao comes to him backhugs him and points at the one they were cosplaying at Natsu Dragneel and Gray Fullbuster “This one is my favourite. I’ll never forget this day” he said as he kisses Izuki on his neck, “Let’s go or we’ll lose the bus” and Izuki nods. Izuki stops wondering, and realizes all these moments are moments he spent with this one Takao , that there was never another Izuki in this one but him, he doesn’t care how or why. He is just happy he finally found the one Takao who doesn’t die.

Takao runs out of the front door excited for their trip to the sea and Izuki follows in suit when he thinks he saw a mop of light blue hair turning in the corner and he shakes his head but there is nothing there. “What’s wrong Shun-chan?” Takao calls and Izuki smiles a little shaking his head “Nothing, I’m coming”.

Later when Takao is asleep in the bus he finds a piece of paper in the pocket of his jacket.

_“Well done, I’m happy for you”_

It reads and Izuki smiles to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this. I put my babies in a lot of pain again T_T
> 
> thank you for reading this <3 comments are appreciated ^^


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